Finding out and telling people

If you're reading this now it's because you already know!! We're getting a new roommate! We've loved having Meredith as a roommate, but we're looking for someone we can put in a back pack and Meredith did not like it when I tried to carry her around in a Baby Bjorn. We're pretty excited/nervous/confused right about now, but that's why you get a full 9 months to prepare.

Finding out: I actually found out one Saturday morning in October when I got up to pee after Jen had left for work (Surprise, surprise, Jen had to work a Saturday). In the garbage next to the toilet was a positive pregnancy test. I looked at it closely and then put it back in the garbage thinking "It must be a mistake. Jen would have woken me up if that thing were true." Jen came home that night and said, "Hey hon, how was your day? I think I might be pregnant." I was (and still kind of am) convinced that Jen was wrong. She kept claiming that she could tell because she hadn't had her period in a looong time, but I kept telling her that that didn't prove anything! I need and expert (Jen does not count as an expert of her own body. This is something I am quickly learning that I better get over) to tell me "Yup, the bun is in the oven." I like experts. They know more than me. They're more experienced than me. I pay them good money so that I don't have to know what they know. Anyway, we still haven't gone in to get a real blood test, but if you've ever met Jen Johnson before, you understand why we have avoided any kind of needles. Jen's books tell her that telling your friends is the best because then you'll get the kind of reaction that your looking for. I think it's tough on non-pregnant partners because its pretty unreal at the beginning. You're always a month behind where you should be. Its not until the second month that you start to believe that something like this is even possible. Plus, finding out is so weighted for the parents. Friends get to squeal and hug and think about names and babysitting someday. Parents are thinking about keeping this new alien alive, not passing your own shit down another generation, and saving for college. I'm excited certaily,but I'm... everything right now and excited is only one piece. So when someone asks "Hey, how does it feel?" I just want to say "How long do you have?"

Telling people: We decided not to tell anyone right away. Sorry folks. We were freeking out for a while and we have no idea what we're doing. We think we heard somewhere along the way that you don't start telling people until you're out of the first 3 months so that's pretty much what we decided to do. So we told a couple people around Halloween/beginning of November so we could freek out with people other than each other. (When I say "freeking out" I don't mean we're running around like headless chickens, I mean we have no idea what to expect or do right now.) It's tough not telling people. I hate interacting with people and not being transparent. So sorry to all the folks who felt that something else was going on under the surface. When I don't get to be transparent, I avoid contact a lot. Anyway, it's November now. Our bosses will probably find out before our families, but we're nervous about how things will look with our jobs and we need as much time as possible to make things safe and comfortable employment wise. Plus, waiting until the holidays to tell family means we have to buy less gifts. "Merry Chistmas, we're making you a grandchild!" Most of our friends will probably find out after the first of the year, though some may find out earlier.

Either way, if you're reading this, you've already found out. Wish us luck!